Jasmine Hart

This made my head spin, Kit! Em, is it dreams? I can't really see anything that needs changing (possibly because my mind is boggeling!), except for; "for only", as I ...

I love this. The idea behind it is great. I really love; "There's a story in the Styrofoam." The repetition of "One large, one medium, one small" is very effective. ...

I really enjoyed this. The structure mirrors the subject matter. Perhaps you could enhance this by making the structure more erratic. For example; "Bouncebouncebounce H o p from one thing ...

This is lovely. I especially love; "You're two of my four heart chambers,". Some parts are rather cliche, such as; "You wiped away my tears, And got me through each ...

This is lovely. I love your use of couplets. I'd suggest splitting the last couplet into two isolated lines; I think this would be very effective as it mirrors the ...

This is well written and I love the idea behind it. The form is very appropriate to what you're saying. I'd try reading this aloud, as I think there are ...

Your rhythm and rhyme are perfect and this flows beautifully. I don't think that it needs to be any longer. However, I would suggest redrafting this. I'd take your original ...

You have some beautiful imagery here, such as; "The space that shrouds us Sparkling dust" and "The yawning break Between past and present." It flows well, and the only glitch ...

I love the first two lines. They're interesting and beautiful and flow well. After this, I feel it gets a little watery. This type of poem is difficult to write, ...

You handle the extended metaphor very well, and this is an interesting piece. You have some good imagery, such as; "Suicide is a little boy wrapped in grey" and "He ...

This flows well.You have some great imagery here. I really love; "I’m a candle in a hurricane. " and "The smell of your skin lingers on me now." Personally, I ...

I enjoyed this. It flows well. I especially liked; "By clear skies liberty flies" and "a dream is burning..." and "anxiety sighs unlearning". I think that lines four and six ...

You use some very good imagery here. I especially loved; "it simmers at the bottom of our souls until it gets a chance to spread like a disease"- it was ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! You make some interesting points here, and I love how you consider all the different angles. As a whole, it flows well, with a clear beginning ...

This flows perfectly, and you build up nicely to an effective climax. I'd cut the "it"s before "perfect" and"damaged", as you don't really need them. The form is very good:the ...